So whats new
Well in case you haven't heard I am getting transfered this transfer. Funny story all week me and all my companions thought I would be the one staying but of course last night I had a dream that I needed to leave and sure enough I am leaving. I feel as if its okay though. Noted I am freaked out as I have grown to love the area and all the people in it. The way I see it is God is in control. Whether I leave here because of all of my imperfections as I know I have many...or I leave because somebody needs me for all my whacky quirks its in Gods hands! He knows what he is doing. Scary enough He knows each and every one of us better then we ever will. As for the me part of things. I am trying to work through my obstacles as best as I can which for right now means using whatever tools necessary. To add one thing much of my hoarding past is behind me even though I am still trying to figure out what is a necessity and trusting others to help me through. I did however throw away/get rid of a ton of stuff which makes me very happy. I am also attempting to be more obedient as I struggle with sleeping as I am having a rough time sleeping at night which makes it harder for me to stay awake during the day. I am staying alive and trying to be more exactly obedient which means I am exhausted but happy. I am over coming or attempting others of my quirks but I am trying to overcome the best I can with the resources that I have. I find myself very happy and at times very shocked. Something you probably don't know is that towards the middle of my mission I almost came home. I know shocker right. The spirit it just wasn't there at least if it was I wasn't feeling it and I didn't know why. I still had a testimony of course but I didn't feel like this was right for me and by golly I almost called up my mission president and told him I needed to leave. So I decided something. I received an answer before my mission was even started before I even got here and it was a powerful feeling. That feeling when I first received it was overpowering that made me just want to enjoy every second of it. God called me on a mission not to quit a mission but to serve with all heart and all mind and of course with my brilliance I thought he wanted me to help bring others to the gospel...boy was I wrong. God needs me refined. I have so many blessings that I can receive and have yet to receive but God cant sell coal for millions of dollars all He can do is all He can to create a diamond from a spot of coal. I can tell you I have been pounded and beat by every which way and I know for a fact God isn't done with me yet. Noted I am tired and sometimes I just want to ask Him to stop but something holds me back. A piece of coal will never be able to tell if he is actually being turned into a diamond until the process is finished and I can promise you He isn't done with me yet. He is still molding me and preparing me to be whoever He needs me to be at that great and last day. Whether it take me a thousand years or to forever and back I intend to meet Him and that day and to be welcomed into His presence knowing that I did all I could to make Him proud. And so here I stand no regrets no looking back. The only thing I can control is right now this second and know that if I am truly repenting Christ will take care of the rest!
Love Sister Shaylin Cawley
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